Today's blog features the experiences of a recent 40 Over 40 client, as written by her. Shared with permission, of course, along with a few photos from her session. I hope you enjoy this unique chance to view the session experience through the client's eyes, and what she felt after seeing her photos. She said to me "I just felt like I needed to write this," and it brought tears to my eyes...I feel like it puts into words what many women are feeling. As I have said many times before, these sessions often end up being about so much more than the photos.

My Journey - by Amy

"50…Who would have thought this would happen overnight? A sobering milestone when left alone to think, but a glorious achievement when my mind starts to count the blessings before me. Half of my grandmother's age, who will be 101 this year. I see her as such an amazing human who has a beauty that is so pure and radiant, yet life is written all over it. I continually talk about her beauty and ask her what the secret to the fountain of youth is, only to be puzzled with each answer she gives, as it is nothing special. She just laughs when I say “Really…you seriously use dial soap on your face???” Then I look in the mirror at my fine lines, that I really do not like, the silver that pops out of place in my hair, and the eyes staring back at me, that sometimes are so tired 8 pm sounds like a great bedtime. How does life move so fast and do I really want to embrace the aging process with grace and acceptance or do I turn to all the new treatments that can take years off my looks and keep me that way well into my 70s and maybe 80s? Who am I in this skin? Kids are gone, grand-babies laughter fills our home and I am lucky enough to have a husband that adores me and isn’t afraid to tell me - but is that enough? Or do I need to seek and find that strong woman that is still full of beauty and life? Do I hear the words that my grandfather use to say “Beauty is as beauty does and the true beauty is in a smile, it's in confidence and quiet strength”? Do I find that soul that wants to leave more with those I love than just what I looked like on the outside? A journey I have actively been seeking as I have three daughters that I watch struggle in their own way with being a woman in a society that does not honor or cherish being a mama and a wife, in a society that floods the internet with fake, and a society that is driven to make you feel that you will never be enough.

I have been on this journey for the last 5 years as I navigate the next phase of my life. This is where my boudoir photos came in. A gift I was giving to my husband turned into a journey for my soul. I found the answers I was seeking by looking at the eyes Tracy captured looking back at the camera. I am beautiful. I am sexy. With mama stretch marks, wrinkles, in the best shape I can be in, and also in the times where my weight and keeping fit has been put on the back burner. I found a drive to want to know this woman looking back at me more and I love how Tracy finds the fun, young at heart woman, the sexy flirtatious woman, and the "I’m comfortable in my own skin" woman. I choose to hang these three different types of pictures in my room because it reminds me I am each of these women! I am made up of many components and each of them is so beautiful and empowering to me.

I have had three sessions and each of them has been so very different. This last time proved to be very difficult and life had me very consumed in my brain. I was exhausted and emotionally numb, not at all wanting to be in front of a camera. In fact, I wasn’t sure how any of them would look, because I felt like my eyes had no life. Not only was my day with Tracy therapeutic and so very needed, but when I saw the results….I cried. Not because they were anything more spectacular than the last, although they were every bit as amazing, but even from the ashes, Tracy found beauty. In fact, it was the first time my husband saw one of them and said “this photo is so pretty”. Not a word he would typically use. Sexy or hot yes, but not the simple word "pretty." Even at 50 those words, spoken with love and gentleness made the little girl, who just wants to be pretty, jump for joy. Seeing the photos gave life back to me and allowed me to look at both sessions and embrace each phase in life, relaxing in the fact that the next one will be different as well. I can’t thank Tracy enough for having the skills and talent to find those eyes. To be patient and never rushing the process but helping me walk through it. Of course, we always throw in a little fun something and she is always game to try my crazy ideas and we laugh. We embrace the moment and we embrace ME and for that, I regain strength and confidence in who I am and who I want to be. I am sure many more sessions will be in my future but for now…this is my space and I AM GOING TO EMBRACE IT WITH THE GRACE AND CONFIDENCE THAT I CAN MAKE IT THROUGH AND I AM ENOUGH!"

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